I am away for the weekend. Apparently some firefighters today forced their way into my empty apartment, gently took down my posters and moved my speaker, and smashed a four-foot giant triangle in the wall.

There was no fire.

I left this on the bulletin board at the end of my last day of work at NYU.

Enjoy your day of Columbus. Remember how we totally slaughtered all those Native Americans? Yeah. That was great.

My job occasionally allows me to inherit a five-pound bowl of tortellini.

I've lost the feeling in one side of the tip of my right middle finger. I'm trying to figure out how I can exploit this to win some kind of underground illegal round-robin fighting competition. Or a quilting bee.

Daily, a half dozen flies come in as soon as I open the windows, fly around in a tight circle in the center of the room, and are gone by the time I get home. They're like the songbirds getting Cinderella dressed for the day.